


It doesn't matter it's not everywhere

by mikhailosbitch



Series: Somehow we make it [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: First time PDA, Firsts, Gallavich Week 2017, M/M, Post Season 7, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 17:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11651520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikhailosbitch/pseuds/mikhailosbitch
Summary: Sometimes it gets too much.Sometimes the urge to show others becomes to much because he wants people to know.Or: The first time of kind of PDATechnically a stand alone fic but follows "In the end it's easy" as a part of the "Somehow we make it" series, aka my coping method for season 7





	It doesn't matter it's not everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> Well, this is my first work for Gallavich Week B 2017. The theme is Firsts and I tried my best at writing an in-character story about Ian and Mickey showing affection in public. I have always wanted to write a PDA fic but nothing too heavy. It's Mickey after all :)
> 
> As always, I'm sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

**It doesn’t matter it’s not everywhere**

 

„Okay guys, don’t get too excited. It’s just a curry!” Sue is balancing a steaming pot above her head, trying to maneuver herself through the crowded living room that is occupied by her friends and some plus ones.

But the prospect of food just encourages the group to cheer even louder, everyone is hungry as fuck and Sue is known for her cooking skills.

 

Ian can feel his stomach rumble as the delicious smell hits his nose. According to the steams coming from the pot, now sitting save on the table, his favorite work buddy didn’t promise too much.

 

“Wow, don’t get handsy” Sue exclaims and slaps Ryan’s hands away that reach for the dish, “Wait like everybody else!”

Ryan lets out a whine but obeys and Sue starts filling the plates with the hot food.

Ian throws a glance at Mickey next to him when Sue hands him his portion but his boyfriend seems to remember all too well that they’re in the North Side and good manners are required so he doesn’t immediately dig into his food. Well, Ian couldn’t really blame him even if he did because it looks fucking amazing.

 

When Sue finally has a plate of her own she announces that they can start which everyone at the table eagerly does. Ian has to suppress a moan as he shoves the first spoon into his mouth. It’s definitely in the top three of the best things he has ever eaten.

Right after take-out pizza with Mickey on the couch.

 

He turns around to look at Mickey and can’t help smiling when he sees him happily eating his curry.

He wouldn’t admit it but he has been nervous since they got here and Ian is more than relieved to finally see him relax a little. Sue’s food does wonders like that.

 

It’s not Mickey’s scene, Ian knows that, they’re in the freakin’ North Side for Christ’s sake. It’s not a fancy as shit area since Sue is not exactly rich but they’re surrounded by decent upstanding citizens from the better parts of Chicago with clean clothes and no bullet wounds anywhere.

 

Usually Ian would have let Mickey stay at home, knowing he hates events like this, but Sue bugged Ian into promising he would bring the love of his life, and to be honest he wants Mickey here. Wants the whole normal relationship crap, wants to show people every once in while, show others how lucky he is.

Of course Mickey didn’t want to go at first but Ian knows what a persistent little fucker he can be so he kept digging until Mickey crumbled. So here they are sitting between Sue’s friends, that aren’t spoiled assholes, just too well-raised to know what it’s like to grow up in the South Side and live there.

 

They greeted them with honest smiles that only got a little tight-lipped when they spotted the tattoos on Mickey’s fingers but they did their best at covering it up and Ian tried not to be too mad about it.

Fortunately Sue was the wonderful angel that she is and greeted Mickey with a light squeeze of his shoulder, they had met a couple times already and Mickey likes her so she could get away with it, and a genuine smile.

 

After saying hello to everybody they sat down at Sue’s small table that is barely big enough to fit all of them around it but Ian doesn’t mind at all because it means he’s pressed thigh-to-thigh against Mickey and they silently play-fight with their elbows for the little space on the table.

 

The first dish was a tiny as fuck bowl with some Indian soup Ian forgot the name of but that left him even hungrier than before so he’s really fucking happy right now, eating great curry, cramped next to Mickey who is a little less miserable with food in front of him.

 

Well that is until one of Sue’s cousins, Claire or something, decides it is time for a Q&A with the gay couple of Sue’s group of buddies.

During the starter the conversation focused on Sue’s daughter and other annoying teenage children as well as on the latest politics, all topics Ian isn’t interested in at all and Mickey even less, but now the attention flows to the newest addition of their little group which is them.

 

Ian is halfway done with his meal when the silence, that settled over them as they started eating because everyone was busy getting a foodgasm, slowly subsides and Claire asks “Well, you’re Sue’s colleague, right?”, staring at him with a wide smile. Seriously?

“Yep” he gives the short answer, hoping that will make her realize that she better stop asking questions. Conversations starting like this always lead to sensitive topics such as “What’s it like to be gay and live in the South Side”. They really don’t need shit like that tonight.

“And that’s your boyfriend” she says, tilting her head towards Mickey who stares down at his plate, clearly uncomfortable.

 

Mickey hates having all attention on him unless it is from Ian or Yev so he keeps his eyes down and Ian wants nothing more than to reach out and grab his hand under the table even though they’re right next to each other.

It’s not like Sue just told everyone who they are, introduced them properly and all that shit but this Claire or whatever seems to need a repetition so he nods and tries to think of a good way to change the topic.

Before he can come up with something Sue comes to their rescue. “So what do you think about the curry?”

Ryan, also an EMT from their station, immediately picks up on the question and starts rambling about how great the food is and Ian throws a grateful look at Sue.

 

Apart from Lip she is the only one who knows everything. Not even Lana is familiar with their whole history, she knows all the shit that happened since the day she came into their lives, the day Ian refuses to think about, but nothing before that and she never asks.

Sue, however, was Ian’s go-to person when Mickey was away and Lip was busy drinking his breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so she knows the whole fucked up story.

 

He told her one night when he was sitting at the station, neck-deep in court documents and tears in his eyes and all she did was listen. Neither disapproved his decisions nor defended them and they still have an open ear for one another so Ian comes to her with all the stuff that he can’t discuss with Mickey, whether it is about his birthday present or obvious signs of PTSD.

 

He hasn’t convinced Mickey to go to a therapist yet, but he hopes they’ll get there one day.

 

This night, though, is about having fun and enjoying Sue’s food so he pushes the worrying thoughts, trying to fog his mind, away and concentrates on the fact that Mickey is kinda smiling at Ryan’s outburst about the curry.

The rest of the evening goes mostly smoothly, either Sue or Ryan chipping in whenever Claire tries to draw the focus on his relationship again, bringing something else up to talk about. Claire clearly doesn’t like it but is too polite to complain about being interrupted so eventually she leaves it.

 

“I’m so glad you came” Sue says as they put their jackets on to head out. It’s the middle of the night by now and Ian and Mickey are the only guests left in her apartment.

“Thanks for the night, it was great” Mickey answers and Ian has to fight the grin creeping up his face because Mickey is trying to be nice and it really helps that he actually sorta means it.

“Next time you gotta come around and we show you how to really party” Ian tells Sue which earns him a light punch to the shoulder.

“No, really it was awesome” he adds, “See you on Monday.”

“Yeah, see ya” Sue replies and waves at them as they descend the stairs.

 

They make their way down and to the street where Mickey turns to go to the L but Ian stops him.

“Let’s take the next one.”

Mickey looks at him, famous eyebrows raised in question. “Why?”

“Because I wanna do stupid couple shit with you like walking through the night. You know, romantic stuff.”

 

It’s iconic how hard Mickey can roll his eyes and he looks like he really wants to disagree with Ian’s idea but before he can start protesting Ian just walks in the opposite direction, away from the L, so Mickey has to follow.

At the end of July it is pretty warm outside even though it’s the middle of the night and since they’re basically downtown Chicago the streets are still busy.

 

It’s not the South Side.

It’s not the area where holding another guy’s hands can get you killed.

It’s not the streets where someone might know them.

 

It’s a slightly busy road near Boystown and Mickey is a little drunk, the kind that makes him less jumpy and on edge.

 

So Ian takes the risk and grabs his hand.

 

The second he feels Mickey’s fingers between his own, Mickey stiffens and Ian can sense him tensing up.

 

He refuses to let go.

 

He knows Mickey will never call him “babe”, have a flowery ass wedding or make out with him in public.

 

But sometimes it gets too much.

Sometimes the urge to show others becomes too much because he wants people to know. Wants them to see that they belong to each other. That this amazing guy with the black hair and the blue eyes that loves with his whole heart, belongs to him.

 

If he’s honest he would like to shove Mickey to the next wall and kiss him till dawn but that would be kinda be over the top so he takes his hand and hopes he won’t get punched for it.

 

Mickey’s eyes dart around restlessly, scanning their surroundings for threats. Ian knows, for Mickey, every dark corner, every alleyway, every goddamn place that he doesn’t see is a potential hiding spot for Terry . It doesn’t matter that his dad is locked up. He will haunt his youngest son for the rest of his life and it kills Ian because all he can do is hold Mickey when he wakes up from another nightmare, wrap his arms around him even tighter until Mickey’s breathing goes back to normal and his grip on Ian’s shirt loosens.

 

It makes Ian sick.

But Mickey doesn’t pull away right now, doesn’t tell him to fuck off and that is a victory.

 

Sometimes Ian feels like he is fighting a silent battle against Terry. Fighting over Mickey, fighting _for_ Mickey. For the chance to love who Mickey loves and even though Terry will never completely go away, Ian knows he has already won. Has been winning for years, _Mickey_ has been winning for years.

And them holding hands is just another proof for that.

 

It’s their first time of PDA. The first time they are out in the open declaring that they are indeed a couple and it feels fucking amazing.

 

They’re unconventional, even for South Side standards but every now and then Ian needs this kinda stuff outside their home, needs to touch Mickey, to tell him _I love you_ even through a tiny gesture.

Mickey’s uncomfortable expressing himself. He’s said the most amazing things to Ian he has ever heard but that doesn’t mean Mickey likes talking about his feelings. Back in the day he did it when he tried not to lose Ian and now he does it in their bed sometimes, in the treasures that are their moments in the dark when they are alone in this world.

When they are amongst their families Mickey shows him. It’s hidden in every shoulder bump, in secret looks and silent smiles, in leaning against each other on the couch while watching movies and in letting Ian steal his food, even if it is banana pancakes.

 

And now he also shows it here, for everyone to see.

Ian knows this is kind of a milestone, another one because, to be fair, they have had a lot of those over the years. If you had told fourteen year old Ian he would publicly be holding hands with Mickey Milkovich one day, he would have laughed at your face while silently wishing it were true.

 

And now it is.

 

They reach the next station and Ian expects him to let go but Mickey wouldn’t be Mickey if he didn’t still surprise him so their hands stay connected on the L and Ian’s smile becomes even wider.

During their ride to the South Side they talk about the dinner, Sue’s amazing food and her friends.

 

“That Ryan guy was okay” Mickey says as the train jolts to the right and causes him to stumble against Ian but Ian just curls his fingers more tightly around Mickey’s to keep him from falling.

“Yeah, they’re all pretty cool” Ian replies when Mickey is standing on both feet again.

“Except this stupid chick, Clara or some shit.”

“Claire” Ian corrects, smiling.

“Whatever the fuck her name is, she sucks ass.”

 

Ian isn’t sure whether it’s about Claire’s attempt to invade their privacy or her rambling about the new flower arrangements she thinks about getting for her porch she started once she realized she wouldn’t get anywhere with asking stupid shit. Probably both.

 

“Why does Sue even hang out with her?”

That is indeed a good question, one he used to ask himself when he had first met Claire a couple months ago. When he tried to ask her in a subtle way Sue just told him that she was her cousin and she was forced to invite her to dinners and shit if she wanted to keep the good vibe in the family.

Turns out that not only South Side families are dysfunctional, they’re just more fucked-up.

 

“Family stuff.”

 

And Ian doesn’t need to explain any more because if there’s anyone that knows about how you have to play happy family to keep appearances up, it is Mickey.

 

At the next stop a lot of people get off and they manage to get a seat.

They sit down and Ian rests their hands between their thighs, doesn’t allow them to separate. He wants to keep this as long as possible.

They don’t talk the rest of the ride, just enjoy the sudden silence since the train is mostly empty by now and Ian relishes in the feeling of Mickey’s warm fingers in his, his smooth skin brushing his own.

Ian doesn’t need a reassurance, not anymore, but still, it makes him feel grounded.

It’s another one of Mickey’s ways of commitment.

Holding hands may not mean that much to others, but to them it does.

 

 

 

Mickey lets go of his hand when they reach their stop and get off the train.

 

And it’s okay.

 

The hot summer night air feels way too cold and he instantly misses the firm graps of Mickey’s hand, the warmth.

But it is okay.

They’re in the South Side now, territory of Terry Milkovich and all the other homophobes who live here. The ones that, instead of throwing you disgusted looks and rude comments, take a baseball bat and smash your head in.

Honestly, that wouldn’t stop Ian from reaching for Mickey’s hand again because _fuck them_ but he’s not trying to get them busted knee caps or worse and there are still boundaries that Mickey will never overcome.

 

Ian holds Mickey’s hand when they fuck, sometimes when they are alone on the sofa and Mickey’s on the verge of falling asleep. And now they also hold hands in public.

 

It doesn’t matter it’s not everywhere.

 

For Ian it is more than enough. More than he ever hoped for back in the day.

But that is basically the case for everything him and Mickey do.

 

When they get home Ian doesn’t hesitate, presses Mickey against the door and brings their lips together. It’s dark but Ian doesn’t need light because he knows Mickey better than himself, every inch, every noise he makes and still, Ian falls for him all over again every goddamn second.

They slowly make their way to the bedroom, clothes left behind in a crumpled trail on the floor, and Ian pushes Mickey down onto the mattress before cupping his face and kissing him hard.

And then Ian feels Mickey grab his hand, intertwining their fingers, joining them.

 

 

 

Mickey flies over the edge one second after Ian and presses his hand into the sheets, gripping so tightly that it hurts. Then his grip loosens but the touch remains.

 

 

 

 

Ian doesn’t want Mickey to call him “babe”, doesn’t want him to have a flowery ass wedding, hell he doesn’t even need to make out in public because all of these things would not be Mickey.

 

 

Mickey is sleepy blue eyes smiling at him in the morning and scowling when he realizes what ungodly hour Ian woke him up at.

Mickey is insults thrown at Ian who can read the affection hidden inside them.

Mickey is a smile that lights up Ian’s world and Mickey is hugs that wrap Ian into a blanket of _I love you_.

 

Mickey is a hand with inked knuckles, holding Ian’s saying that, yeah, this is _us_.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. That was Ian and Mickey holding hands.  
> They do hold hands in canon but it's always when it's just the two of them. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this, any kind of feedback is welcome!


End file.
